feel it in your bones

I’m beginning to become anxious about every little thing. If I’m waiting for a page to load or a song to start, I might become anxious. Just waiting for a response to a question causes me to become anxious.

Also, I’m angry, and bitter.

I just feel so alone right now and it sucks.

akasmurf:

reblog if you understand that the little girl pictured above is just as beautiful as the little girl pictured below <3

It is time I address this.

I have health and mental issues. I don’t know what exactly those are as my range of symptoms with various degrees from ‘meh’ to ‘you should see a doctor’ allow me to fit a large spectrum of possibilities.

I do not live in self-diagnosing books or sites, but they have been known to make my top hits once in a while.

I have issues, there is no doubt about that.

One of the things they could lead to is cancer.

I didn’t realize this scared me until a close friend pointed it out.

It does.

It always will.

One of my favorite books, The Thirteenth Tale, is based around an Author who finally tells her life story to a biographer as she slowly dies from her disease.

The disease is never mentioned by name, but she refers to it as a wolf that waits in the shadows. It had been there all of her life, but it was waiting behind the characters of her stories and as the characters were placed in her books, the wolf waited.

But she had made a deal with the wolf, she had to tell her story and then the wolf could win the battle.

I don’t know what I have, but I like to think of it as a wolf that is waiting. Because I feel there is something wrong.

I feel that in my bones. I don’t know if it is cancer, but I know there is a wolf somewhere that I have to fight.

I think people should be able to understand what people are arguing for, when it comes to their personal health, in Congress.

And we should be able to get procedures if we need them.

I get that that is a money issue. But being healthy shouldn’t have to be a privilege.

I understand that’s rather naive, but attempting to even understand pisses me off.

Shit.

this then this: